Monday, March 15, 2010

The Rise of the Curmudgeon

Curmudgeon, it's a lovely word, isn't it. Conjures great mental images. Hamish Keith may have cornered the market on Cultural Curmudgeon-ry (is that a word?), but anyone can indulge in the highly amusing pastime of General Curmudgeonry.

I am a Consideration Curmudgeon in that I think that many people today seem to think only of themselves or their immediate family.

For example, car parking. Everyone from the beat-up 1991 Toyota Corolla (mine) to the latest model SUV seems to fear the tiniest paint scratch, so much so, that they park half a mile from the next car in the carpark or on the street. But if they just considered others and thought, "I'll park neatly and permissibly close so that others might find a park in this much sought-after parking area," then we could park 12 cars where they have only managed to park 4! You get my drift. Think outside your own selfish square, people!

Or, litter. Don't break that glass bottle (a) where a small child will walk (b) where it will rip my bike tyre to shreds or (c) where it may injure that cat (cruising by itself) or dog being walked.
Take it home and recycle it. You are not cool or down with your homies when you smash bottles, you're just a dick! Don't throw that shopping trolley in the river where it looks ugly and affects the water birds. Take it back to the good people at WoolCountPak'n'New World. They'll smile at you because each one costs them several hundred dollars. Don't get up from your picnic and leave your rubbish behind. Who do you think will put it in the bin for you? Santa Claus? If there is no bin, take it home. It's not rocket science.

Ahhhhh! That feels good! Enough curmudgeoning for now, but, remember, one dark night when the old lady with the Mobility sticker can't park near the library or when the oaf smashes his umpteenth TuiSpeightsDB bottle to impress his mates, the Curmudgeon will arise and wreak a terrible vengeance.

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