Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Tuesday Poem (but really Flash Fiction): "Aiguo's International Incident"

Dear Kim Jong-un, Supreme Leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea,
            I do not wish to trouble you because I am just a humble merchant and you have a vast and prosperous country to run. I know that you are making huge technological strides to improve the lives and comfort of your people and to keep the capitalist running dogs of the West at bay.
            In the People's Republic of China, we look on with great admiration as you advance the power and prestige of the international Communist cause.
            Although the Great Devil, Obama, and his sycophants mocked your recent satellite launch, was it not our own venerable philosopher, Lao Tzu, who said: “A journey of a thousand li starts with a single step.”?
            These decadent Westerners do not know the infinite patience of the Asian peoples. In the land of the Great Satan, everything must happen instantly.
            I know that such a trifling setback will not deter a Great Leader like you.
            Unfortunately, your setback has had repercussions in my humble life too. I live in Shanghai where I operate a factory trying to keep up with the insatiable demands of the great capitalist, Steve Jobs. Although his company puts food on my table, I spit on his grave.
            None grieves your unsuccessful satellite launch more than me, but some of its debris came down on the newly painted roof of my factory. Now the space debris is stuck in the fresh paint.            
            It will cost me thousands of yuan to have the debris removed and the roof repainted. I know you are a generous leader who cares for the plight of the little man so I am confident that you will honour my claim for compensation.

Yours in glorious socialism,
Zhang Aiguo

WRITER'S NOTE: Today many of us on the Tuesday Poem blog roll are posting Flash Fiction instead of poems to celebrate National Flash Fiction Day. I invite you to read lots of other wonderful flash fictions on the other Tuesday Poets' blogs.


  1. This made me laugh. I especially like the part about the infinite patience -- since it's gonna take a looooong while to get that paint job repair!

    Yours in glorious something-or-other,

  2. This is great! I particularly enjoyed the part about Steve Jobs, "although his company puts food on my table, I spit on his grave." Very funny.