“Are you game to predict the outcome, Murray?”
“Kurt, it’d be a brave
sportscaster who’d predict this one. There are so many factors: unfamiliar
venue, a new type of ball…”
“Enlighten the viewers
about this new ball, Murray.”
“As dedicated
basketball fans know, the UBL use a variety of balls during the play-offs: the
Mercury, the Pluto, the Alpha Centauri and so on. In today’s final they’ll play
with a World 2008, a ball neither team is familiar with.”
“But they’ve used World
balls before.”
“Sure, who can forget
one of the greatest finals in UBL history when they played with a World 1945?”
“God’s looking to
repeat that epic victory in today’s final. What challenges will the World 2008
present to the players?”
“It’s a heavier ball,
weighing ten billion whereas the 1945 weighed three billion. It’ll be harder to
handle because it’s made with considerably less ozone layer. And the players
will have to watch the top spin because of uneven wealth distribution.”
“Sorry, Murray, we’ll
have to leave it there. Sports fans, the moment you’ve all been waiting for:
God and Satan are facing off for the toss-up.”
“God’s got it and flicks it back to Raphael, Raphael dribbles, he beats Idi, beats Stalin, good defence by Hitler, but Raphael gets the long pass away to Gabriel who’s blocked, but wait, God comes up the inside and gets a bounce pass from Gabriel. God’s well outside the key, he shoots and…yes, a three-pointer and the Grand Canyon is formed.”
“God’s got it and flicks it back to Raphael, Raphael dribbles, he beats Idi, beats Stalin, good defence by Hitler, but Raphael gets the long pass away to Gabriel who’s blocked, but wait, God comes up the inside and gets a bounce pass from Gabriel. God’s well outside the key, he shoots and…yes, a three-pointer and the Grand Canyon is formed.”
Part Three continues tomorrow
The Big Game was first published in The West Australian newspaper and was reproduced in the short story collection, Aotearoa Sunrise.
For more information: www.biggerthanbenhurproductions.com
Funny. I'd never heard this version of the formation of the Grand Canyon... I like this part:
ReplyDelete“It’s a heavier ball, weighing ten billion whereas the 1945 weighed three billion. It’ll be harder to handle because it’s made with considerably less ozone layer. And the players will have to watch the top spin because of uneven wealth distribution.”