Short Story (serialised): The Big Game - Part Six

            “David goes wide. Hitler moves to block his run-up.”

            “Look at that! David feints a long pass to Solomon, but instead bounce passes to God who’s charging up centre court. There’s a gap and God is up. He slam dunks and it’s good!”

             “There’s the whistle. The crowd are on their feet and roaring. The Jumping Jehovahs have snatched victory in the dying seconds of this exhilarating final.”

            “Murray, you’ve called a lot of games. How would you rate this one?”

            “Number one. Kurt, this is, without a doubt, the best game I’ve ever seen.”

            “As God leads the JJ’s onto the dais to receive the Age of Light trophy and the cheque for two millennia of harmony, we cross to JJ’s coach, Moshe Bullrush. Moshe, I see you lighting a celebratory cigar off the Burning Bush. A proud moment for you, no doubt?”

            “Yes, Kurt, my faith in God has been vindicated today. He and I go back a long way, to the beginnings of monotheism. We’ve had our share of knockers. The Egyptians said we’d never make it out of the minor leagues, but that aqua-aerobic workout in the Red Sea and forty years of high altitude training in the desert have finally paid off. There were times when I thought I’d never make it to see this proud moment, but thanks to the tablets I survived.”

            “Okay, Moshe, time’s running out so we’ll have to cross to courtside. Gabriel gives God a high-five as God is lifted onto his team-mates’ shoulders. They’re doing a victory lap around the court. That brings us to the end of our live telecast. Thanks for joining us. This is Kurt Providence…”

            “…and Murray Destiny saying goodbye from Dante Hyperdrome for the Trinity Channel’s Wide Universe of Sports.”

            “And we’ll leave you with a shot of the electronic scoreboard which reads: Peace on Earth and Goodwill to all.”

THE END

The Big Game was first published in The West Australian newspaper and was reproduced in the short story collection, Aotearoa Sunrise.

For more information: www.biggerthanbenhurproductions.com

Short Story (serialised): The Big Game - Part Five

            “Being reduced to a four-man team at this stage of the game is the last thing that the All-Stars need.”

            “These guys have fire in the belly though. Hitler responds to this setback with some fierce dribbling up centre court. He sells the dummy to Pol Pot. How’s he gonna break through the tight defensive formation of Michael and Sariel?”

            “Will you look at that! He’s dodged under the defence, beautiful body twist, launches off that front foot, it’s up and it’s good.”

            “An incredibly tricky shot, but he pulled it off and the tanks roll into Tiananmen Square.”

            “Pol Pot’s snatched the rebound and is drawing the defence.”

            “Hitler’s over in support of Pol Pot. There’s a hole in the JJ’s defence and Stalin has steamed through it. Hitler lobs a pass over the JJ’s to Stalin and he’s up for the slam dunk. Another ferocious scoring manoeuvre for the All-Stars and ethnic violence spreads throughout Eastern Europe.”

            “God has called time out. What a nail-biter, viewers! We’re holding our collective breath as the All-Stars lead 16 to 15 over the Jumping Jehovahs with only seconds remaining.”

            “In a surprise move, God is bringing in his two draftees: David and Solomon. Murray, isn’t God taking a big risk bringing on untested players at this crucial point in the game?”

           “They’re only untested in the UBL though, Kurt. Both players have acquitted themselves well under pressure in the Hebrew League.”

            “Play resumes, viewers, and the suspense is tangible here at the Dante Hyperdrome. David and Solomon are probing up the right side of the court, passing and dribbling, keeping it tight. They’re drawing Idi and Stalin.”

Part Six continues tomorrow

The Big Game was first published in The West Australian newspaper and was reproduced in the short story collection, Aotearoa Sunrise.

For more information: www.biggerthanbenhurproductions.com

Short Story (serialised): The Big Game - Part Four

            “The JJ’s are undaunted and zip back into play. Gabriel to Michael, beats Pol Pot, back pass to Sariel, beats Idi, flick to Raphael who flicks a pass behind his back to a sensational running intercept by God and he slam dunks for Michelangelo completing the statue of David.”

            “Satan calls for time out. Let’s go to the electronic scoreboard for an action replay.”

            “For the viewers at home who may not have picked that up on the audio, a murmur of amazement rippled through the crowd as we watched the slow motion replay of Raphael’s last pass. As the ball arced through the air towards God, a rainbow trailed behind it and we could clearly see the flowering of the Renaissance.”

            “The ball’s in play again. It looks like Satan is setting up a two-on-one and yes, a dummy pass to Hitler while Idi steams up from mid-court. Satan passes to Idi. Idi charges through for the slam dunk for Nietzsche publishing Beyond Good and Evil. There’s the whistle. Did you see what that was for, Murray?”

            “Yes, Kurt. Idi shoulder-charged Sariel with excessive force. This produced the phenomenon of ‘drive-by’ shootings and a foul has been awarded against Idi.”

            “Sariel to take the penalty shots. Cool as a seraph he drops them in. One, Pasteur successfully vaccinates against rabies, and two, Alexander Fleming discovers penicillin.”

            “Whoa, trouble has developed while Sariel was taking his penalty. It’s a pressure cooker down there. Satan initiated some pushing and shoving with God.”

            “The umpires are taking no nonsense. Satan has earned himself five minutes in the ‘sin bin’ for propagating the AIDS virus.”

            “A poor example for a player-captain to set."

            “Couldn’t agree more, Murray. Satan’s lack of self-control may cost the All-Stars the game.”

Part Five continues tomorrow

The Big Game was first published in The West Australian newspaper and was reproduced in the short story collection, Aotearoa Sunrise.

For more information: www.biggerthanbenhurproductions.com

Short Story (serialised): The Big Game - Part Three

            “Satan is quick to respond with a driving move down the court. Sariel and Michael are in disarray in defence and Satan crashes through. He’s up. It’s good. All-Stars have their first points on the board and Vesuvius erupts and destroys Pompeii.”

            “The excitement is palpable here at Dante Hyperdrome as the two teams go head to head. A fight broke out between some Western industrialists and some Hare Krishnas when Michael scored a beauty which created the Himalayas and Pol Pot swiftly countered with the Black Death.”

            “We can’t pick one player as a stand-out. Gabriel might have scored three baskets in quick succession with Uluru, the Amazon and Victoria Falls, but he couldn’t have done it without the JJ’s working immaculately as a unit.”

            “And Satan has answered those pundits who called him an also-ran.”

            “Critics of his team’s fitness and determination have been silenced by the dynamic defence and offence of the All-Stars. That old black magic was never more evident than when Satan beat Michael and Sariel to score that explosive Krakatoa eruption.”

            “And Stalin and Idi, essentially defensive players, ranging far and wide with that beautiful combination which resulted in Stalin scoring that genocide in Rwanda basket.”
            “More hot action, sports fans! The Aleister Crowley cheerleaders are chanting up a storm as Satan beats one…two…three players and bams one off the backboard. What a basket! Hitler’s up, he’s got the rebound and he scores! A magnificent double-header: earthquakes in San Francisco and Chile!”

Part Four continues tomorrow

The Big Game was first published in The West Australian newspaper and was reproduced in the short story collection, Aotearoa Sunrise.

For more information: www.biggerthanbenhurproductions.com